7 min read
While life’s circumstances have their way of knocking you down, you don’t ever have to stay down. There is a way to get back up and to regain enough confidence to try again. If you want to learn how to regain your confidence after a fail, keep reading.
You may not want to hear it, but failing is a part of life. Failing is necessary for progress. How? When you fail, you gain valuable insight that you didn’t possess before.
If everything worked on your first try, you would never put any effort into how to improve upon something.
Before we dive into how to gain your confidence back, let’s look at some major fails by some successful people experienced.
You may have heard of the author of the Harry Potter series, but did you know that her first Harry Potter book was rejected by major publishers 12 times before it was accepted and published? You can only imagine how each rejection must have been a blow to the author’s self-confidence, especially after the 11th time.
Oprah is a billionaire who built her empire through television, and even owns her own TV network. Before becoming the Oprah that we all know and love, she was fired from her job as a news anchor in Baltimore, MD. Knowing that this was directly related to what she wanted to do with her life, she probably lost some confidence, when this happened.
If you’re like most people across the world, bubble wrap is one of your favorite things on the planet. But before bubble wrap was used worldwide for packaging, it was originally meant to be textured wallpaper. Major fail for that, but huge success in another area. The makers learned that it could be used as housing insulation, and later began using it to package and protect new computer systems for transport.
Let’s not forget to mention one of the largest companies on the planet…Apple. Apple is so successful today, because of all the failures the company has experiences over the years. Now, it’s safe to say that Apple is unafraid to fail, because failure leads to more successes. Whether you’re an IOS or Android kind of person is irrelevant to the fact that both regularly rolls out updates that consistently have bugs and fixes in them. Why? They know that improvements are an inevitable part of progress. So, they issue updates and wait for feedback to see how they perform. Then, they know specifically what to pay attention to and how to improve upon it.
Every Superhero Movie Ever Made
Have you ever watched a movie? LOL It’s predictable. Super strong, smart, talented hero shows off…runs into a problem…sets out to handle problem with complete confidence…finds out this problem is a little bigger than anticipated…gets knocked down/thrown for a loop…learns from the situation, pulls strength, will, tactics from somewhere, and tries again…WINS! (Does that sound about right?)
Now that we’ve gone through some popular failures, you should have the idea that failure doesn’t last forever. It is an experience, like everything else in life, and in time, it will pass.
So how can you regain your confidence? Read on.
How To Regain Your Confidence
1. Understand that failure is necessary for progress.
You are not perfect. So, don’t expect to have perfect experiences every day of your life. Things happen, and you are not exempt from hardships. Everyone else on the planet goes through things. You should expect to have some challenges on your journey.
2. Learn from the failure or circumstance.
There are always things to be learned from our experiences, whether they are pleasant or otherwise. It seems though that the biggest teachers are the experiences that aren’t so pleasant. We tend to pay more attention to those. We spend more time thinking about them and trying to figure them out. Take notes, and prepare yourself for the next trial that comes your way.
3. Make adjustments and try again.
Progress comes from improving upon something or changing direction. In fact, you can use your inner GPS to determine what steps to take next.
PIECE OF ADVICE
IF YOU ARE EVER UNSURE ABOUT WHAT TO DO, IT ISN’T TIME FOR YOU TO MAKE THAT DECISION YET. TABLE IT, AND COME BACK TO IT WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. IF IT DOESN’T MATTER THAT MUCH, JUST CHOOSE, AND MAKE MORE DECISIONS BASED ON THE OUTCOME.
Get excited about making something better for yourself. When you commit to being and doing better, you set yourself up for success. The next time something comes along, you will be in a much better position to handle it, when you learn and make adjustments.
4. Know that you are not the only person on earth who has ever lost confidence.
You may already know this, but in the moment, you tend to forget. It’s almost like someone saying “People in Africa are starving” in response to you saying that you don’t like or want to eat a certain thing on your plate. When you are experiencing something unpleasant, it is more difficult to consider someone else’s experience. It’s not that you are ungrateful or complaining: it’s just that you want your situation to be different. Understood.
5. Know that if you continue to persist, you will come out on top.
Persistence and consistency always wins. If you fail at cooking a dish, each time you make it, you will think of something different to do to it. After a number of attempts, you will come up with a dish that tastes pretty good. If you stop before you ever reach your desired result, you will never believe that you’re a good cook who can make something taste good. So, keep at it, and in the end, you will win!
6. Make improving a regular part of your life.
Some people are obsessed with improving their health, businesses, skills, talents, etc. You want to become one of those types of people.Well, you don’t need to obsess, but you should be mindful and intentional in some areas of your life. Make regular improvements, until YOU are satisfied.
7. Love yourself and allow yourself to be human.
Sometimes, you may get the urge to beat up on yourself for not “getting it right”, but you should cut yourself some slack. If someone you loved made a mistake or experienced failure, you wouldn’t yell at them and treat them poorly because of it. Instead, you would encourage them, and let them know that it’s not the end of the world. You would tell them that they have the opportunity to try again and to “get it right” the next time. Treat yourself this well too. Allow yourself some room to be human, normal. You’ve got this, friend.
Author of The Mask and Creator of The Write Mind Studio
Andriea Denise is an author, educator, and entrepreneur. She is the founder of The Write Mind Studio, and passionate about helping people to become the best versions of themselves and to live the lives they actively create.